Immigration prevents "brain drain" in Australia
A new study has debunked the idea that Australia is suffering a so-called "brain drain," when a country loses many of its skilled workers. The Monash University study found high immigration and the return of Australian professionals from abroad have eased the skills shortage.
In 2003-04, Australia had a net increase of 43,612 skilled workers, up from 29,375 two years earlier. The increase in professional jobs grew from 15,866 to 27,338 over the same period.
The Monash Population and Urban Research Centre study looked at the movement of Australian residents, long-term visitors and new migrants over several years.
The study found that in 2003-04 there was a net gain of 5890 computer experts -- the most of any professional group. Next came engineers (2987), nurses (2483) and accountants (2015). There was also a net gain of 1271 skilled construction workers and 1032 in mechanical engineering trades.
The Federal Government boosted the migrant intake to 140,000 in 2004-05, the highest number for more than 30 years.
You are Persian if...
- at your party you play techno songs the whole freakin' night.
- you drink tea at the end of the night to sober up
- You remove the 318 emblem from your BMW and install M3 wheels on the car.
- You brag to your friend that your BMW was shipped from Germany
- You keep your black leather jacket on the whole night at the party eventhough it's warm as hell
- Your parents always call you to help them fill out form that are in English
- Your parents always complain about the food at the local persian restaurant eventhough they go there every weekend
- All your persian friends are DJ's
- You talk in an italian NY style dilect.."yo, ha yoo doin?"
- After 15 years of marriage, your mother still calls your wife "Aroos"
- You are a car salesman and at the same time a singer.
- You talk behind your wife with your mother.
- You dress up to go to grocery store.
- You go to a concert but never see the singer and stay in the hallways with your drink checking out girls.
- You never wear your wedding ring.
- You smoke five packs a day and tell everyone you don't smoke.
- You pronounce "Sure": SHOOR
- Your favorite drink is Vodka.
- You are about 35 and have no hair on your head.
- You watch Iranian programs on TV, but always nag about them.
- You are good in playing backgammon and chess but can't do your taxes.
- You call a gas station: gas essteshen.
- You ask someone to marry and they want to know if you own a house.
- You divorce your wife but still don't let her date anyone else.
- Your wife divorces you, but still goes shopping with your sister.
- You used to be a brain surgeon in Iran but now you work in a chelokababy.
- You carry 3 pagers and 2 cellular phone but nobody ever calls you.
- You claim your dad was a very good friend of the SHAH.
- You don't own a house and have no job but still can afford a BMW.
- You have to shave more than once a day.
- You were a 4 star general in Iran and now drive a cab in Washington,D.C.
- When they ask "where are you from?" you reply...Italy!!..yet have a "tasbeeh" in your hand.
- Have rice with yogurt using a spoon and fight over its Tahdeeg.
- Have an "Aaftaabeh in your Toilet" and if not...water in a milk bottle will do just as good.
- Invite friends over for dinner and buy Pizza, yet cook some extra rice...just in case!
- Believe no one else can make Kabaab better than us.
- Watch Rugby Test Matches, yet play only soccer over the weekends.
- Being addicted (so much) to "Tea " that you drink it in a big coffee mug.
- Have dogs but don't let them come inside the house.
- Complain about everybody's accent, but yours.
- and finally if you live in Sydney: you say "chasswood" instead of chatswood!
Interview in American Embassy
Interviwer:name
Interviwee:Jasim abdul-Ahmed
Interviwer:sex
Arab:10 times a week
Interviewer :no I mean male or female
Arab :there is no difference
When an Iranian wants to write an English letter!
This letter was written by an employee of the NIOC (National Iranian Oil Company), Ali Mokhles, back in the 1960`s to his American boss, Mr.Hamilton.
Dear Mr.Hamilton
I, the undersigned, have worked in the NIOC in Masjed-Solyeman for three years, But since Mr.Ahmadi transferred here everything has changed. I don't know "what a wet wood I have sold him" that from the very first day he has been "pulling the belt to my lift" With all kinds of "cat dancing" he has tried to become the "eye and the light" of Mr.Wilson.
He made so much "mouse running" that finally Mr.Wilson "became donkey", and appointed Mr.Ahmadi as his right hand man, and told me to work "under his hand" Mr.Wilson promised me that next year he would make me his right hand man, but "my eye didn't not drink water", and I knew that all these were "hat play", and he was trying to put a "hat on my head" I "put the seal of silence to my lips" and did not say anything.
Since that he was just "putting watermelon under my arms" Knowing that this transfer was only "good for his aunt", I started begging him to forget that I ever came to see him and forget my visit altogether. I said "you saw camel, you did not see camel"....but he was not "getting off the devils donkey" ... "what headache shall I give you" I am now forced to work in the mail house with bunch of "blind, bald, height and half height" people. "Imagine how much my ass burns."
Now Mr.Hamilton, "I turn around your head" you are my only hope and my "back and shelter"...."I swear you to the 14 innocents" please "do some work for me"...."in the resurrection day I`ll grasp your skirt"...."I have six head bread eaters".....I kiss your hand and legs."
Your servant,
Ali Mokhles
Comparison Immigration Policies
If you are looking for an article comparing Australia and Canada immigration policies just drop me a line and I will send it to you asap;)
Microsoft Interviews
After having 5 phone screens and 4 face to face interviews, Microsoft guys decided not to proceed my application for a position in Seattle! why? because I am not a geek! here are some questions that I am asked for during interviews:
1) Implement malloc().
2) Implement TBST. (Threaded binary search tree)
3) Write routines to manage a heap using an existing array.
4) Add numbers in base N.
5) Some more bitwise optimization at assembly level .
...
and some riddles:
1) Given a rectangular (cuboidal for the puritans) cake with a rectangular piece removed, how would you cut the remainder of the cake into two equal halves with one straight cut of a knife?
2) Why is a manhole cover round?
3) If you had an infinite supply of water and a 5 quart and 3 quart pail, how would you measure exactly 4 quarts?
4) How to explain object oriented to your grandma!
...
bad things:
- I am P O S*** (compare to them)!
- missed free Soda!
good things:
- hate Redmond! 9 months rain!!!
- looking for another job in sunny California.
- more confident.
- proud with using my gmail account!
