You are Persian if...
- at your party you play techno songs the whole freakin' night.- you drink tea at the end of the night to sober up
- You remove the 318 emblem from your BMW and install M3 wheels on the car.
- You brag to your friend that your BMW was shipped from Germany
- You keep your black leather jacket on the whole night at the party eventhough it's warm as hell
- Your parents always call you to help them fill out form that are in English
- Your parents always complain about the food at the local persian restaurant eventhough they go there every weekend
- All your persian friends are DJ's
- You talk in an italian NY style dilect.."yo, ha yoo doin?"
- After 15 years of marriage, your mother still calls your wife "Aroos"
- You are a car salesman and at the same time a singer.
- You talk behind your wife with your mother.
- You dress up to go to grocery store.
- You go to a concert but never see the singer and stay in the hallways with your drink checking out girls.
- You never wear your wedding ring.
- You smoke five packs a day and tell everyone you don't smoke.
- You pronounce "Sure": SHOOR
- Your favorite drink is Vodka.
- You are about 35 and have no hair on your head.
- You watch Iranian programs on TV, but always nag about them.
- You are good in playing backgammon and chess but can't do your taxes.
- You call a gas station: gas essteshen.
- You ask someone to marry and they want to know if you own a house.
- You divorce your wife but still don't let her date anyone else.
- Your wife divorces you, but still goes shopping with your sister.
- You used to be a brain surgeon in Iran but now you work in a chelokababy.
- You carry 3 pagers and 2 cellular phone but nobody ever calls you.
- You claim your dad was a very good friend of the SHAH.
- You don't own a house and have no job but still can afford a BMW.
- You have to shave more than once a day.
- You were a 4 star general in Iran and now drive a cab in Washington,D.C.
- When they ask "where are you from?" you reply...Italy!!..yet have a "tasbeeh" in your hand.
- Have rice with yogurt using a spoon and fight over its Tahdeeg.
- Have an "Aaftaabeh in your Toilet" and if not...water in a milk bottle will do just as good.
- Invite friends over for dinner and buy Pizza, yet cook some extra rice...just in case!
- Believe no one else can make Kabaab better than us.
- Watch Rugby Test Matches, yet play only soccer over the weekends.
- Being addicted (so much) to "Tea " that you drink it in a big coffee mug.
- Have dogs but don't let them come inside the house.
- Complain about everybody's accent, but yours.
- and finally if you live in Sydney: you say "chasswood" instead of chatswood!
posted by Ali @ 2:02 PM
2 Comments:
mahshar bood. koli khandidam. vaghean khande dar bod.
Driving ......
One hand on wheel, one hand out of window : Chicago.
One hand on wheel, one hand on horn : New York.
One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: Boston.
Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror : Ohio, but driving in California.
Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat: Italy.
And finally:
One hand on horn, one hand greeting, one ear on cell phone, one ear listening to loud music, foot on accelerator, eyes on female pedestrians,conversation with someone in next car : Welcome to Tehran!!!
Babak
Perfect! Specially the part "Chasswood" instead of "Chatswood"!!!! I really enjoyed it.
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